Arizona is the A to Z of abbreviations.
Jarod Kintz
If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs).
funny politics political beliefs absurd surreal
Goodbyes, they often come in waves.
funny humor goodbye goodbyes
Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers.
funny humor life wisdom patience
funny humor
I have alchemised my love for Agatha, and turned it into gold, which is the embodiment of Orafoura. I am the Elixir of Love--hot, cold, dry, and moist, I am the quintessential element: Jell-O. Agatha makes me yummy like John Wayne rides horse radish.
funny random
I Google myself to find out who I am as a person.
funny person
Strawberries are so red they make me feel 33% patriotic.
I want to buy you a pair of YAP, or Yellow Admiration Pants (they have no crotch), and have you talk dirty to me.
funny silly
In a depression, attendance to sporting events goes down, while the percentage of people fornicating goes up, because sex is free. I know, some of you are probably thinking, Free! Where do I find those hookers!
funny humor depression sex economic-depression
If I could convert my love into clay, and then shape it, I wonder if Agatha would expect a Rodin or a Branscusi. In reality it would be neither, as my love sculpture would look exactly like the Grand Canyon.
funny
With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress.
funny humor politics absurd congress
My father went AWOL the day I got dishonorably discharged from his penis.?
I saw a hermaphrodite changing, so out of respect, I turned halfway around.
funny humor respect
Bring on hyperinflation! I want to be a millionaire with minimal work.
Your pants are unseasonably bitch. I beg your pardon. Excuse me, madam, but you are sitting on my erection.
funny bitch
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