A blanket and a brick could be put in a ring and paid to fight. Compared to MMA, it would be boring. But compared to boxing, it would be downright thrilling.?
Jarod Kintz
I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.
funny humor art wall leave surreal strange guy bizarre
What is art? Art is tar, rearranged. Art is tar on canvas or tar on tarp or tar on a naked body. Art is a bird chirping changed into something visual. Art is an image of a thousand beaks breaking into the office of a quack doctor. I know that doctor, and I've personally spoken to ten of those beaks. Art is rhythm, two hands clapping at a urinal while a third shakes off pee to the beat. Good art stays with you your whole life, especially if that good art is a tattoo. Good art is my name, written backwards, inked on your upper lip in a furry font. Art imitates life, just as life imitates Orafoura. Art can be anything from a Manet to a Monet to a painting of money to a missile. Art can save the world, or devastate it. (We could drop another big bomb on Japan, though I'm not advocating dumping Basquiat paintings on Hiroshima). Art rhymes with a bodily function, and everybody should let their creativity rip everywhere from the privacy of their bathrooms to small heated boxes with four of their closest friends. Art is thinking outside that box, and desperately trying to escape.
life privacy money art creativity naked body image world friends good artist small hands tattoo thinking japan rhythm escape box surreal written bird painting big beat save doctor breaking paintings
Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.
funny humor food blood crazy absurd surreal silly bizarre
I want to merge a Phoenix with a Camel to create the world's first everlasting cigarette. It'll be a cigarette that rises from its own ashes, so you can keep smoking it indefinitely.
funny humor immortality surreal phoenix
I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium.
funny humor leadership management life wisdom surreal teeth bizarre
I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable.
funny humor surreal nonsense strange nose mustache bizarre grotesque
I blew the love trumpet until my cheeks were blue. Then I paid 34 bucks for a taxicab ride home so I could admire my receding hairline in the mirror.
funny humor absurd surreal
The silence protrudes like an engorged stomach, while I ponder the thought of trying to sit on my own lap.
funny humor thought absurd surreal
Love is a green sky on a blue pasture, and I am the flying cow eating it all up.
funny humor surreal
Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called.?
funny humor food life writing name writers write fish creatures fishing absurd surreal vocabulary ocean writers-quotes writer-quote bizarre
I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables.
funny humor diet earth fruit weight-loss illogical surreal gravity bizarre
I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it.
funny humor writing write word absurd surreal
If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs).
funny politics political beliefs absurd surreal
A blanket could be drenched in water, frozen, and then enjoyed like a giant cotton popsicle by prisoners of a gulag, who might consider this a tasty treat compared to what they normally eat.?
funny humor random unexpected wild weird surreal strange bizarre brick-and-blanket
Showing 1 to 15 of 90 results
You must log in to post a comment.
There are no comments yet.