Artists exist to show us the world. So do windows.?
Jarod Kintz
If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.
funny humor people passion loving romance flight crazy absurd strange funny-and-random
I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.
funny humor people mind relationships communication eyes sarcasm absurd conversations sarcastic
I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.
funny humor art wall leave surreal strange guy bizarre
funny humor art world artists exist windows
The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content.?
funny humor life content people family world book joy sex enjoyment create phone population creating books
Some people read books on musicians, while I read music books. Not books on music, but literally books full of sheet music. Fascinating reading.
reading funny humor people music musicians read books
The book Little Women, what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.
women funny humor book love books
Number one on my list of things to do before I die is become immortal. Obviously there is no number two on my list.?
funny humor life death immortality alive things immortal die goals
I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.
funny humor writing death language latin funny-quotes write humorous-quotations absurd dead ridiculous strange read funeral witty-quotes
My love disappeared, along with the evidence of her dead body.?
funny humor death body murder dead evidence love
Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time.
funny humor life change people death time world strange hope
Arrows give life direction. And if one goes through your heart, it can even point you towards death.
funny humor life death heart direction give
My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me.
funny humor birthday death wait die
He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse.?
funny humor dating death beauty smile beautiful girl marilyn-monroe weird absurd strange corpse odd bizarre
I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that.
funny humor life death family murder tragedy crazy absurd ridiculous bad-news
Showing 1 to 15 of 296 results
You must log in to post a comment.
There are no comments yet.