A blanket could be drenched in water, frozen, and then enjoyed like a giant cotton popsicle by prisoners of a gulag, who might consider this a tasty treat compared to what they normally eat.?
Jarod Kintz
I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.
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We all must die, but only I put the must in mustard. Sadly, the only man alive who understands what I mean is dead. RIP Mitch Ketchup.
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He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse.?
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Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.
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I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him.
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Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory.?
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I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium.
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33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins.?
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My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica??
funny humor music weird mouth absurd strange odd bizarre
I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable.
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My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.?
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Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called.?
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I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables.
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On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.?
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