I asked her if she enjoys a cigarette after sex. She said.. No, one drag is enough.
funny humor sex
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
funny humor bad lover
Good crowd.. Good crowd. I'm telling you I could use a good crowd. I'm OK now but last week I was in rough shape.. Why? I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
funny humor family good found crowd tree
For two hours.. Some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
funny humor guy
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open. Boy.. What a present he gave me!
funny humor time present christmas open fly boy
And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy..I'd have nothing to play with!
funny humor poor play born boy
You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time.
funny humor time walking
Yesterday I parked my car in a towaway zone.. When I came back the entire area was missing.
car funny humor missing yesterday
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
funny humor time good pretty
My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm goingto move to New York.
funny humor
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentallywalk through into another dimension.
funny humor mirrors house
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one.. Itwasn't doing what I was doing.
funny humor shadow
Last night, I walked up to this beautiful woman in a bar andasked her, Do you live around here often? She said, You'rewearing two different colored socks. I said, Yes, but to methey're the same because I go by thickness. Then she asked, How do you feel? And I said, Well, you know when you'resitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legsthen you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the lastsecond you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
funny humor time live beautiful fall night woman feel
If I have not seen as far as others, it is because there were giants standing on my shoulders.
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
chance funny humor alive kill
Great men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges.
funny humor men mountain great
Nothing is so galling to a people not broken in from the birth as a paternal, or in other words a meddling government, a government which tells them what to read and say and eat and drink and wear.
funny birth humor people government words broken eat drink read
When a thought takes one's breath away, a grammar lesson seems an impertinence.
funny humor thought breath lesson grammar
Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.
funny humor comedy truth theend end
Why isn't there mouseflavored cat food?
funny humor food cat
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
funny humor forest
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
funny humor open
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
funny humor written signs sign
Is there another word for synonym?
funny humor word
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
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