What do batteries run on?
funny humor run
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all themoney go?
funny humor nations world debt
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
funny humor bad
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
funny humor wave heat
I washed mud, off of mud.
funny humor
I took a baby shower.
funny humor baby
I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.
funny humor age wine wait made
I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.
funny humor kind bed
I was arrested for selling illegalsized paper.
funny humor paper selling
One night I came home very late. It was the next night.
funny humor home night
Last time I went skiing, I had to get up at 5: 00 in the morning.I knew I couldn't do that, so I slept with my skis on. My ridecame at 5: 30 in the morning, couldn't wake me up so he carriedme out of the house, put my skis on the roof rack of the car, and drove to the mountain. Seventeen miles later, I woke up outof this incredibly bizarre dream that I was skydivinghorizontally. I'm sure this has happened to you.
car funny humor time dream morning mountain house skiing bizarre wake
One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw themost gorgeous blond Chinese girl.. I sat beside her. I said, Hi, and she said, Hi, and then I said, Nice day, isn'tit, and she said, I saw my analyst today and he says I have aproblem. So I asked, What's the problem? She replied, Ican't tell you. I don't even know you.. I said, Wellsometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect strangeron a bus. So she said, Well, my analyst said I'm anymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys.. By the way, myname is Denise. I said, Hello, Denise. My name is BuckyGoldstein..
funny humor nice problems problem chinese today good perfect day girl jewish
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes solater I can ask him what he meant.
funny humor friend baby
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers fortwins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, buthe didn't obey.
funny humor brother run
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There wasa gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was runningdown the street on a purple wooden horse.
funny humor horses horse
I was born by Caesarean section.. But not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through thewindow.
funny humor leave born house
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.
funny humor water
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using adotted line. He caught every other fish.
funny humor fish fishing
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
funny humor dog
If toast always lands butterside down, and cats always land ontheir feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a catand drop it?
funny humor cats land
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friendswent to the funeral in one car.
car funny humor friend funeral
I have a friend named Dennis. Both of his parents were midgets, but he isn't a midget. He's a midgetdwarf. He's two inchestall. He's the one who poses for trophies.
funny humor parents friend
When I go, I'm flying Air Bizarre. It's a good airline. Youbuy a one way round trip ticket. You leave any Monday, and theybring you back the previous Friday.. That way you still havethe weekend.
funny humor good flying air leave bizarre
I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I keptlocking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 footstepladder with a coathanger.
Yesterday I parked my car in a towaway zone.. When I cameback the entire area was missing.
car funny humor missing yesterday
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