My love disappeared, along with the evidence of her dead body.?
Jarod Kintz
Books are portable companions. But so are midgets.?
friendship books
I would have enjoyed Naked Lunch that day, but the cafeteria served us all underwear.
naked day books
Number one on my list of things to do before I die is become immortal. Obviously there is no number two on my list.?
funny humor life death immortality alive things immortal die goals
I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral.?
death crying remember laughter cry laugh hard funeral
The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger.
guilt death murder blood crazy mistake innocent think police kill
In my dream I drove an RV off a cliff, because rather than hit the brakes or steer to safety, I was more concerned with either changing the radio station or turning the volume all the way down. They were playing Lady Gaga.?
sleep choice dreams life death music choices decisions dream lady-gaga changing decision safety lady radio
My dreams died nine months before I was born?
birth dreams death born
I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.
funny humor writing death language latin funny-quotes write humorous-quotations absurd dead ridiculous strange read funeral witty-quotes
When I found him lying in the ditch holding a shovel, I thought he was sleeping on the job. Turns out he was being even lazier, and he was in fact dead.?
death thought lying lazy sleeping find dead found fact job
My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to the bottom of the cup, where all the sugar is. I wonder if life is the same way as we approach the end.?
wonder life death sweet end coffee drink closer sugar
Her dad died unexpectedly, so I hid the flowers, because flowers are reminders of spring and life, and also of headstones and death. Also, I hid the flowers because they were for another woman.
funny dad life death woman flowers spring
funny humor death body murder dead evidence love
Life insurance is a dying industry.?
life death business industry dying wordplay insurance
When someone says, One last thing, it never is. Unless they die right after speaking. Make sure that they do.?Check their pulse to be certain.?
death murder conversation speaking die certainty thing
Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time.
funny humor life change people death time world strange hope
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